Parental relationship and attachment theory

Author: Andreea Mihaela Cojocaru
Titu Maiorescu University, Bucharest, Romania

The subject of the parental relationship is of utmost importance and a major help for both psychotherapists and clients.

The relationship with our parents begins from the intrauterine period and it is conspicuous in our everyday lives, whether we are aware of it or not. The child lives fusionally with his mother during the intrauterine period, and then enters into extrauterine life with his mother, being totally dependent on her at the beginning of his life in the first few months (Piontelli, 2006).

He/she perceives the world through her conscious and unconscious perceptions, and stores the feeling that the world is either a welcoming or a less agreeable land. These childhood grounds form and gain potency depending on how positive the mother is living with the newborn in her life or how hard she tolerates her child's dependence on her (Slade, 2000). It will also look at the child later on in the years to come, at various stages of life or events more or less important.  At maturity and not only, when feelings and thoughts such as: “life is hard”; “nothing is for sure”; “life is dangerous”; “people are tough and unfriendly”, we can see a constellation of anxiety linked to the poor parental relationship (Wood, et al., 2003).

Keywords: parental relationship, attachment, internalized model, emotional management, adult attachment schemas, and triangulation